Late night ramblings..

For the past little while I've been thinking I needed to make some changes in my life… had no clue where to start. A couple questions always run through my mind; what should I do, who should I even talk to about it and honestly does anyone even really care? The past couple months I've had a lot on my plate for those of you who know me well you know what I mean by this. If you don’t scroll up and read the past couple blogs I suppose.  I've thought for a bit now that I guess God was giving me a couple of messages during this last roller coaster of life I had. For one slow down, I've always kept myself busy running from one task to another, not always enjoying the little things in life. As I've sat around with my recovery time I’ve learned to enjoy the little things in life, such as rereading a book I love, going on a fall drive with my best friend to see the leaves changing, taking a walk at 11:00 p.m. at night with some of my favorite boys just to get hot chocolate afterword, seeing my other best friends baby grow up and enjoying time with my family even if it’s just sitting on my bed talking with them.

                Second, people come into your life for a reason and they also leave your life for a reason. Who knows it could be to challenge you, to help you, but in the end you will be the one writing the story that everyone else will hear in years to come. So make sure it’s one you want to tell.

                Another thing I've learned try new things. Life is seriously way too short to not go out and do the things you want to do.  For example… I’m scared of heights, this boy I've known forever asked me on a date and I decided I should go. I ended up going to his tree house and he told me I needed to climb up there I was thinking seriously.. I am going to die this is not OK  Obviously… I didn't die and I've been back to the tree house at least 4 times. I encourage anyone go out and fall in love with something whether it be a person an activity just go do it.  One of my best friends is a perfect example of this she called me the other day needed me to come to her house; she told me she is pretty sure she found that person for her.  She’s known him for a week but I can tell you I love when she talks about it because she gets a big smile on her face and she cannot get it off. So who am I to judge what she chooses to do, it’s her life her decision and I’m going to support her all the way.  You can’t sit back on your couch thinking why didn't I do that last night, or even better in 50 years from now don’t look back on your life and regret not doing the things you wanted to do.

                One last thing to wrap up the night; I’m not a highly religious individual. I have my beliefs just as well as the next person; but I think my biggest lesson that I needed to learn thus far is that I wasn't being punished when this trial was put into my life. I've heard a couple of times lately; God doesn't put things into your life that you can’t handle.  God put this summer trial into my life to make me stronger, I've made my mistakes as well as the next person but in the end all we really need to do is take a step back out of our life and realize things aren't always about us.  Don’t judge a person by the choices they have made, because you have no clue what plan they were given, and what choices they had to choose from.  All you need to know is that when the time comes you’ll have choices to make too. In the end if you don’t think anyone else will understand you always have the big guy upstairs. That’s the biggest lesson I think I needed to learn.  So as I start to make these changes to my life, there will be the people who come in and out of my life, there will be new things to try, and in the end I just have to believe that the big guy upstairs will always have my back.