Friday, December 14, 2012

Blink of an eye..


Sometimes when I drive home from work my mind has a million different things running through it today it only had one thing, how fast things can change in a blink of an eye. I thought back to when I was a little girl. I use to cling to my big brothers like it was nobody’s business; I remember my two brothers and I would have sleepovers in my oldest brother Trevor’s room. We would stay up until midnight playing the Nintendo 64 and fall asleep; now that we are all older we don’t really see a whole lot of each other anymore but I do want them to know how much they mean to me.  Ever since I can remember they’ve always been there to protect me, tease me but most of all love me.  Sure we fought, but we are family. Besides my mom they are the most important people I have in my life; and I probably don’t tell them that as much as I should. I am taking the time to do it now.
            Trevor, what to even say about this big ol’ teddy bear. I love him plain and simple. Ever since I can remember Trevor hasn’t ever been much of a talker. He pretty much just sits back and watches everything that is going on around him but when he has something to say you better listen.  It hasn’t ever been like that with us though, I can always tell him anything and even if he doesn’t always have an answer he will just listen so I can just let it out. He did everything in his power to take care of me when I was little and to this day still watches out for me.  During the hardest time of my life this summer at one point I just walked up in my room and sat to cry. He didn’t say anything he just walked in and sat down by me, he will never know how much it meant to not have to explain myself. Needless to say I hope that one day I can be as great as he is. Love you Trev.
            Colby, ever since I can remember he was the brother that was always teasing me. No worries, he still does even though we are supposedly older and more mature now-a-days.  When I was in about sixth grade I remember I would wake up early and make his breakfast  just so I could sit and eat with him even if we didn’t talk. We haven’t always gotten along, but in the end we usually figure it out. He’s more of a talker than my other brother, he sure does like to sing and I can almost guarantee whenever you see him he will be. Throughout the hard times Colby has always been the one to be solid he worries, but he doesn’t let it affect him. I’ve always envied that in him, he’s given me countless blessings and he really doesn’t know much that has meant to me.  One day I hope that even though I’m not ever going to be as big as he is, I hope I can have as big of heart as he does.
            Then there is my wonderful Mother. Words cannot describe how wonderful this lady is. My mom has sacrificed so much so that my brothers and I could have everything in the world we could have ever wanted. I’ve probably taken it for granite but my mom is truly the best mom in the world. She’s been the one to wipe my tears when I was growing up, she’s the one who sat through hours and hours of endless dance competitions, she’s been the one who has never given up on me even and she will always be the one I can trust full heartedly.
            These three people have been my solid foundation for twenty years now; it was us three against the world. Even though my brothers and I are grown up, don’t live so close anymore and will eventually get married. It will always come back to the fact that they are my family, they are the people I couldn't imagine losing in a blink of an eye.  My heart goes out to the families in Connecticut that will forever be changed by the action of one person, one person who changed the lives of those families forever.  In all honestly, I don’t think any of us realize how fast life can change in a blink of an eye; but it does. 
            Now to my best, best, best friends, where in the world would I be without these wonderful ladies, and a few gentlemen?  Even though I don’t live close to all of you wonderful people and you range all the way from Arizona to Vegas to Texas to 5 hours away to 2 hours or even just twenty minutes away. I am so thankful for each and every one of you. Each of you has taught me something about myself and life that I wouldn’t have learned without you. You’re all so unique and so great, and I’m so glad that I can call you guys my best friends. You’ve been there through the good and the bad with me and it’s been one heck of a rollercoaster. I can’t wait to see what life has in store for all of us.
            Also to that adorable boy I get to call my boyfriend; the boy who I’ve known for seriously forever… and now look at where we are. He is seriously the greatest person ever. He puts up with my temper tantrums, he talks to me about anything and everything, he gives me butterflies every time I see him and even though he doesn’t like peanut butter… he still really likes me and hot chocolate.. so I guess it all balances out. He has taught me so much in the time we have been together and puts a smile on my face every single day. I really can’t believe it took me so long to find this wonderful man! I can’t wait to see where life take our relationship but so far is has been pretty great.
            Then to those cute little children I work with during the week. You little ones are the cutest things on planet earth. You will go far and do great things when you grow big (how they talk to me) like me one day.  So grateful for these little people who show me that there is always something new to learn from life. All in all, so many people have touched my life. You’ve all taught me so much and I couldn’t imagine life without any of you. I’ve lost people close to me and it is hard, it changes you. It changes your perspective on life. So once again to all of you families in Connecticut I hope you know there are so many people praying for you, me included. Let this be a lesson to us, pull your loved ones close and don’t let them go. I know I will be you never know what could happen in just a blink of an eye. 

Sunday, December 9, 2012

A bunch of words.


Courage, Love, Sacrifice, Patience, Trial and Hope. Lately, I think these words would describe my life pretty accurately. I guess you could say that as of late I’ve had a lot on my mind. Trying to figure out what I want to do, where I want to be and who I want to share all of this stuff with has crossed my mind a lot. But Courage, courage in my world is facing something that absolutely terrifies you. Love, love in my world is laughing with my mom until my stomach hurts, having my brothers tease me even though it drives me crazy, listening to Taylor Swift with my best friend on a 7-11 run or getting butterflies when my boyfriend kisses my forehead. Sacrifice, sacrifice in my world putting a hold on my life for medical things beyond my control. Patience, patience in my world is teaching a child how to learn, getting my life back to where it once was and getting answers from the big guy upstairs. Trial, trial in my world is going through something nobody can even imagine and coming out on top the only way you know how. Hope, hope in my world is watching little kids grow up, waiting to see what the doctors have to say and taking chances that you didn’t even know you had as an option.
            Now I don’t know what these words mean to any of you who read this, nor does it matter.  Everyone one of us is different. All of us have different things going on in our life, we have different choices we have to make and we all just see things differently. Plain and simple everything is different. I guess lately, I’ve been struggling with this whole different thing.
            I had my life planned out for a totally different route then what it is on. Some days I wish I could go back to my old life, simply because it was easy, it was me.  Days like today I want to go back to when I had everything planned, it wasn’t all a big crazy cluster of stuff I needed to sort out or I didn’t have to worry about what was said at my next doctor’s appointment… but then I have nights like tonight. Nights when I’ve been super frustrated with the day and I’ve been super stubborn all day long with the boyfriend and I get a message  even after I’ve been super stubborn all day that says, “Shayley I love you no matter what J”  that’s when I’m grateful that my life is different, different than what it could have been. I think that sometimes life has a funny way of teaching us what we need to learn. Sometimes the light bulb flickers on, and sometimes it takes a bit for the bulb to be replaced until we finally figure it all out. Life changes, it changes so unbelievably fast sometimes that we don’t have a clue what to do with it. I think I am just barely starting to figure out what in the world I need to do with mine, and that’s fine…
            Now this was just a bunch of thoughts I had floating around, it wasn’t to really highlight on any aspect of my life, or to try and teach anyone anything. It was mainly for me to think.  But while I’m thinking, just remember life can change in a blink of an eye. It happens every single day. You are not the same person you were last year your completely different. Your life might be completely different, the people your around might be completely different and I’m here to tell you having things be different from your original plan is ok. 
           
            So I’ll let you think of the words that describe your life, take a chance to reflect on them. Because in the end we are all going to be a little bit different.