Sunday, December 9, 2012

A bunch of words.


Courage, Love, Sacrifice, Patience, Trial and Hope. Lately, I think these words would describe my life pretty accurately. I guess you could say that as of late I’ve had a lot on my mind. Trying to figure out what I want to do, where I want to be and who I want to share all of this stuff with has crossed my mind a lot. But Courage, courage in my world is facing something that absolutely terrifies you. Love, love in my world is laughing with my mom until my stomach hurts, having my brothers tease me even though it drives me crazy, listening to Taylor Swift with my best friend on a 7-11 run or getting butterflies when my boyfriend kisses my forehead. Sacrifice, sacrifice in my world putting a hold on my life for medical things beyond my control. Patience, patience in my world is teaching a child how to learn, getting my life back to where it once was and getting answers from the big guy upstairs. Trial, trial in my world is going through something nobody can even imagine and coming out on top the only way you know how. Hope, hope in my world is watching little kids grow up, waiting to see what the doctors have to say and taking chances that you didn’t even know you had as an option.
            Now I don’t know what these words mean to any of you who read this, nor does it matter.  Everyone one of us is different. All of us have different things going on in our life, we have different choices we have to make and we all just see things differently. Plain and simple everything is different. I guess lately, I’ve been struggling with this whole different thing.
            I had my life planned out for a totally different route then what it is on. Some days I wish I could go back to my old life, simply because it was easy, it was me.  Days like today I want to go back to when I had everything planned, it wasn’t all a big crazy cluster of stuff I needed to sort out or I didn’t have to worry about what was said at my next doctor’s appointment… but then I have nights like tonight. Nights when I’ve been super frustrated with the day and I’ve been super stubborn all day long with the boyfriend and I get a message  even after I’ve been super stubborn all day that says, “Shayley I love you no matter what J”  that’s when I’m grateful that my life is different, different than what it could have been. I think that sometimes life has a funny way of teaching us what we need to learn. Sometimes the light bulb flickers on, and sometimes it takes a bit for the bulb to be replaced until we finally figure it all out. Life changes, it changes so unbelievably fast sometimes that we don’t have a clue what to do with it. I think I am just barely starting to figure out what in the world I need to do with mine, and that’s fine…
            Now this was just a bunch of thoughts I had floating around, it wasn’t to really highlight on any aspect of my life, or to try and teach anyone anything. It was mainly for me to think.  But while I’m thinking, just remember life can change in a blink of an eye. It happens every single day. You are not the same person you were last year your completely different. Your life might be completely different, the people your around might be completely different and I’m here to tell you having things be different from your original plan is ok. 
           
            So I’ll let you think of the words that describe your life, take a chance to reflect on them. Because in the end we are all going to be a little bit different. 

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