When I was a little
girl the biggest problems I remember having were if I got gum in my hair and I
had to tell mom so she could get it out with peanut butter, my brothers scaring
me with a vampire mask to the point I screamed bloody murder or the best one
when my older brother Colby threw a pop bottle at me and it knocked out my
front teeth. Then when I was a teenager
my biggest problem was I thought I worked way too much and didn't see my
friends enough. Now my problems as a “young” adult are much bigger, worrying
about money, school, doctors, cancer, tumors and relationships. At work today I couldn't help but think about
being a little kid, considering I work at a pre-school; life is pretty easy for
a kid that childlike mentality is truly a blessing. When you’re little
everybody is your best friend, mommy is always there to pick you up when you
fall down and boys had cooties...
Now-a-days as a “young” adult, you have a handful of close friends, Mom
is still there to pick you up, but boys definitely don’t have cooties anymore.
Lately, I sort of feel
like my life has become one big blur. I wake up at 6 a.m. go to work from
7:30-3:30 come home talk with mom for a couple of minutes, go to my other job
at 5-10:30 p.m. come home, get ready for bed , crawl into bed talk with my
favorites for a bit on the phone. Repeat Repeat Repeat, I love my job don’t get
me wrong but some days routines.. They just need to be broken. Therefore I
savor the weekends, usually to catch up on some sleep, hang out with my family
and of course seeing my other favorites. Which means the weekends always end way too
soon, and the work week comes way to fast. In the last couple months my life was on hold,
no school, no moving out to the big city, I couldn't even work there for a bit.
But now it’s slowly coming back piece by piece I work all day every day and I
love it even if it is a blur sometimes. But it definitely isn't what I imagined
for myself even just a year ago. That’s the part about being an adult we can
make plans but who the heck knows if it’s actually going to happen. We actually have to make our own decisions,
decide our own fate and life just happens whether we are ready or not. Honestly,
sometimes it can be pretty scary not knowing what comes next, but it can also
be exciting. I guess that’s where having a childlike mentality comes in, they
are fearless they are always wanting an adventure. Isn’t that what life is supposed
to be about though? One big adventure, nobody has a book on what is right or
wrong we are all just sort of winging it trying to figure it out.
Right now, even though
my adventure was on hold for a bit I finally feel like it’s starting to go
again. It may have just taken me a bit to see it or maybe I just wasn't looking
close enough until today at recess when my darling student jumped off something
and I held my breath until he landed and got up with a big grin on his
face. We don’t always anticipate that
something is going to happen to us, it just does. People will walk in and out of our lives all
the time; we just have to decide who we want to take on this adventure with us.
But as we go on this big, crazy, scary,
emotional but oh so exciting adventure of life I’m starting to think maybe
thinking like a kid isn't so bad sometimes.. because remember if you fall Mommy
is there to pick you up, you’ll always have a friend to be with… but no boys
don’t have cooties..
So even though… I am
finally about to get my plans back in order and get to where I want to go, I still have no idea what life is going to
throw at me, the big problems will still come but really I am just sort of
winging it..
