Shayley..

            To a lot of people I’m known as Shayley… to my best friends I’m known as loud, not so shy, loves to talk Shayley… to my roommate at college I’m known as the late night talk, Ke$ha loving Shayley…  to the kids in high school I could have been known as the girl with zebra seat covers, the cheerleader, or the girl who is always with that guy…to my mom I’m the hardworking, stressed out, loves reading and napping Shayley… to my brothers I’m the little sister to protect and take care of, the one who when they babysat me I was really waiting on them hand and foot… to my dad I was the little girl who he called bug, and loved going to Bear Lake and watching Grease… to someone else I was the dependable, argumentative, cuddle bug Shayley.

            This year a lot has happened in my life, graduated from high school, moved away from the familiar to college, broke up with my high school sweetheart, and struggled with a lot of changes. But mostly, I’ve changed. Like I said I moved away from home to a completely new town, a completely new experience, to completely new people. Along the way I met my roommate, we have our up’s and down’s but it all works out. I’ve grown up a lot, don’t get me wrong I still call my mom, and usually I call her crying about one thing or the other.  But, recently a lot of people have noticed a change that I’m not so sure I can bring back.

            I’ve been told by my friends, your smile lines have faded, you look exhausted Shayley, are you getting your sleep? Truth be told, I probably do look exhausted, and I do feel tired. The break up with my high school sweetheart took a toll on me, I know, its college I’m suppose to grow, experience new things. And eventually I will. I'm still the Shayley who loves singing to Ke$ha, who loves seven-eleven hot chocolate, and will listen to anyone who has a problem.

 But right now I need to say this for me; for those of you who tell me to ,“Get over it, get over him.” Sorry, it isn’t that easy. For those of you who tell me, “He’ll come back” Really? Where is he? And for those of you who say, “I know how you feel” um… I don’t think you do but I’m sure you do in your own way.  I know a lot of people have been trying to help me, and I’m grateful for every single one of them… but please take a step back and see how I really do feel.

            I know the changes are going to keep coming, whether I’m ready or not. But get to know me for me through the ups, and the downs.

And if  he reads this, really I’m sorry.